Darkened Light

Darkened Light is an epic tour-de-force of a book, an awakening for people who do not understand the mind of a manic depressive. In this book Susan explains the past hardships of her life. She has lived a true rollercoaster of a life with both periods of manic euphoria and periods of suicidal depression. Susan's language reflects her state of mind, illustrated with dozens of her own drawings and paintings; she describes in the minutest of details the thoughts that whirl around her head. Susan is obviously a very strong and brave woman - this is a strong and brave book.

About the Author

The pictures I have drawn for my book show my thoughts, feelings, emotions and sentiments. I describe myself as a dark, mysterious, secretive person. I have had thoughts that I might have been a Viking in a past life, I have tough, violent traits. Three psychiatrists have diagnosed me as suffering from bipolar depression. During my manic phases I overestimate my personal ability. I become deceitful; see a side to me that is manipulative and crafty. At these times I do not have a conscience. I want to be bad.

At other times I am overtaken by a great euphoria. I become obsessed about something; I have delusions about whatever I'm obsessive about. Thoughts and ideas preoccupy my mind and I lose touch with reality. I seem to paint more when I am manic, many of my pictures are similar or on a similar theme.