When I Grow Up: A Memoir

"An unusually candid and revealing portrait of an artist and unlikely rock star. In this thoughtful, highly readable, and sometimes painful memoir, Juliana Hatfield evokes both the everyday trials of the touring musician and the occasional moments of transcendence and connection that make it all worthwhile. Anyone interested in pop music, or curious about the pressures placed on women rockers, should read this book ."
--Tom Perrotta

author of Little Children and The Abstinence Teacher

"Well written and heartfelt, When I Grow Up is a real pleasure. I have always loved Juliana Hatfield's music, and I've been intellectually curious about the woman behind the songs. I was thrilled to read more about her in her own words."
--Janeane Garofalo

"There has never been a book like this. Juliana Hatfield reveals, with a unique emotional honesty and precision, the inner world of a rock artist. She writes like a dream and has a remarkable ability to convey details of the road, the muse, and the heart."
--Danny Goldberg

author of Bumping Into Geniuses

"A candid and mordantly funny peek backstage at the true life of a passionate artist."
--Janice Erlbaum

author of Girlbomb and Have You Found Her: A Memoir

Ask a young girl what she wants to be when she grows up, and there's a good chance she'll say "rock star." Ask a rock star what she wants to be when she grows up, and it gets a bit more complicated.

By the early nineties, singer/songwriter and former Blake Babies member Juliana Hatfield was in a position most aspiring alternative rockers can only dream of: Her solo career was taking off. She was on the cover of Spin and Sassy. Ben Stiller directed the video for her song "Spin the Bottle" from the Reality Bites film soundtrack. She was a featured guest on "My So-Called Life," Then, after canceling a European tour to treat severe depression and failing to produce another "hit," she was dropped by her record label and spent a decade releasing well-reviewed albums on indie labels and performing in ever-smaller clubs. A few years ago, now in her thirties, she found herself quietly reading the "New Yorker" on a filthy couch in the tiny dressing room of a punk club, and asked herself, "Why am I still doing this?"

By turns wryly funny and woundingly sincere, "When I Grow Up" takes readers behind the scenes of rock life as Hatfield recounts her best and worst days, the origins of her songs, the source of her woes, and her quest to find a new purpose in life. Writing with the same talent for lyricism and poetry found in her songs, Hatfield has produced an engaging literary memoir that will resonate with anyone who's lost faith in a dream.