Baby's First Book of Socialist Propaganda  (English, Paperback, Schmalfeldt Sr William M)

There are no pretty pictures in this book. Pretty pictures are for soft minds. Do you want your children to be soft-minded? No. You do not. Soft minds are for liberals, and they are the weaklings we are fighting in the east. You want your children to be strong, liberty-loving, free-thinking patriots who will do as we say. You will begin reading chapters from this publication when the precious little fetus being carried by one of your wives is in the first trimester of its life, which began the moment you, the father, soaked her woman parts with your sinful fluids. These stories will be read directly to the precious, darling angel growing in one of your wives' belliy so at the moment of birth, the "child" (as we will call it) will be fully educated into the proper way of thinking. Under no circumstances should the child be allowed to read this book itself. It will require your careful supervision as the parent to ensure that the proper lessons are learned from the words contained herein. When the child is removed from your home for mandatory public indoctrination at your own expense, the child will be tested for its knowledge of these principles. Children who do not pass a written test will be sent to the Pain Mines of Wyoming for further processing and the parents of that child will be processed for whatever byproducts can be produced in the rendering process. This book should be read in a sneering, sarcastic manner so the child will be aware of the foolishness of Socialist thinking. When the child is old enough to have it done without killing it, the child should be spanked on the naked buttocks, with the book, if the child laughs at any part herein. ENJOY THE BOOK! The Director